5 things you must do to keep your friends during divorce

Don’t make these mistakes with your friends and let them drift away when you need them most!

Do you dump on your friends all the time? Do you talk non-stop about the nasty divorce you are going through and what happened to you today? If so, you need to stop right now before you lose your friends!

Friends are a huge support for you during this difficult time but there are some things you need to consider so they don’t drift away from you when you need them the most. Friends are not your counselor or your therapist!

Of course, friends can be a comforting shoulder to cry on but they also want to share happy moments and achievements with you too not just all the ugly stuff.

I realised once that I mentioned my Ex’s name 33 times during one coffee chat with a friend and I was stunned!

If your divorce drags on past a year or more, friends are going to tire of the same conversation. You need to be consciously aware of how much you talk about your divorce and soon enough you will break the pattern. 

5 things you must consider when it comes to friends

  1. Don’t overshare! Some friends might not like heavy conversations or may just not be in the mood some days. Gauge what works and how much you should share about the divorce proceedings and how it is effecting you and your family.   
  2. Be conscious of how many times you talk about your Ex. Friends will soon tire of hearing about what they are doing or saying and how you feel about them. If they are mutual friends even more so.
  3. Keep a positive attitude. Be conscious of your mindset. Too much negativity and your friends won’t want to be around you. 
  4. Be careful what you say in writing. Don’t slam your Ex on social media. Be careful what you say in emails. Apart from your friends not wanting to see it, it can also be used against you as evidence if it’s in writing.
  5. Journal it! I am a big believer in journaling and I promise you it really does help! Rather than overloading on friends, write it all down, then when you see friends your mind is less cluttered and more focussed on enjoying time with them.

For more tips I talk about friendships on this blog post and in this video.

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